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The VANISHING FATHER

show starting post by soulight
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woman in a shoe   in reply to Jme1
Don't give up my son been thought hell and back for his kids.we got the mother to give him one of them after 8 long years. The son is old even to tell his mother he don't want to be with her anymore he stays with his grant grand present right now so don't give up on your little girl because of her mother good luck to u and your little girl I will keep u in my prays
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getfreedental   in reply to Jme1
Hello. Hang in there - you sound like a great father! Your daughter will see all your effort down the road and have a true appreciation for everything you have done. May God bless.
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missjanie   in reply to Jme1
Awe dont give up,not many daddys that are willing to fight for there children. Keep up the good work!! You can always google 211.org with your city and state for agencies that can provide you many ways of assistance. Good luck and God Bless you
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Jme1
Im a father.. Been looking up and down for answers. I have a daughter, the most beautiful little girl i can ever ask for. I left her mother because of adultery. I was fine with that but i told her i want to continue being a father to my child. I support her, take her for weeks at a time and spend as much quality time as i can. Her mother has been giving me hell ever since the day we have split. She has been making my life miserable just so i can be in my daughters life.

Im trying my hardest to fight to stay in her life.. Im on the final warning at work if im late again ill lose my job, because her mother is irresponsible.
Her mother doesnt keep up with medical wellness check ups or vaccinations. I have to take her to the doctor and make sure she is fine. Last bloodwork done her lead level was high. The courts dont seem to care.

Can this be another reason why fathers leave their children?
I honestly dont know what to do but just to give up.
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njan18   in reply to Annie38
Kids will lash out at you because you are present and accessible. It is displaced anger and hurt. Sometimes teens will manipulate such sore spots to rebel. She probably doesn't mean it. She knows you are her rock. She will live you so much harder when she becomes a parent. Stay strong and pray. Don't be shaken. You are a phenomenal woman!
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t20mh
Is there anything anyone knows about for the mother forgiving herself after the father abandons the child.
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Annie38   in reply to BaddCatt
Thank you, I searched all over and God helped me to find the truth. Sadly my daughter is now making ugly remarks calling me "cougar" & Pedofile because he is younger. I told her "Your dad lied about his name & age, left us & is trying to keep away from his resbonsibility, I raised you & have cared for you as well as I digged up the truth for you Don't forget that young lady!!" Cannot understand why this happens often like if we were the bad ones??? :(
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BaddCatt   in reply to Annie38
Hey annie38

I'm proud of you for your persitence. And you're right. He does have a responsibility and your child deserves to have her dad and his name. (If she wants it)
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Annie38   in reply to Annie38
Sorry my cel is acting up with the keyboard.
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Annie38   in reply to BaddCatt
Hello, comes to be that he used his brother's info in complicity with his mom. I found his pic on fb looking up names related to his brother. I text the grandma & she is still the dirty mouth lady I met. He called me all tough because she told him her side of the story & asking me if all I cared about was child support. He accepted my daughter's friend request but has not yet mentioned paternity issues or gas spoken to her on the phone. I read a post he is opening a Rest. so Im guessing he is afraid of me taking him to court, which I still am, not because of, but because it is his responsibility & my child's right to have a dad & his real last name & not his brother's. Have a great day.
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Annie38   in reply to BaddCatt
Thank you, I will keep you posted. Enjoy your day.
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BaddCatt   in reply to Annie38
Wishing you the best of luck. Stay in touch. If I'm ever able to offer assistance, I will.
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Annie38   in reply to BaddCatt
Yes, I always spoke to her about him and how much she looks like him. She has been teased about her color and the fact he is not in her life and that has made her rebellious towards me and her siblings, as well as in school. That is why I am in the mission to get to the bottom of this, whatever happens afterward at least I will have the satisfaction I did my best to bring him into her life.
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BaddCatt   in reply to Annie38
That's good. Is your child even aware of him?
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Annie38   in reply to BaddCatt
Wanting him back for the sake of my child not for me.
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Annie38   in reply to BaddCatt
Hi, well he is not in jail. I looked up the mugshots and the person with this name and DOB is another person who looks like the grandma and I think could be his brother. I found the picture and if he lied about his age I think he also lid about his name because this person recently got arrested but when he called me he said he was locked up for 8 yrs so even of this other man used his name obviously other records of him had to show up. So now the only thing I have is his mother's name and cell but I lost my job do to health issues so I cannot pay for a full search of her info. She is covering for him like she influenced on him to not sign the birth certificate. My baby is beautiful and smart and she looks nothing like me yet she is all him ): Thank you for your reply
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BaddCatt   in reply to Annie38
Wow Annie38

You come from a dysfunctional family, and you didn't break the cycle with your first choice in men. It sounds like you have suffered much but have become stronger and wiser as a result.
Keep trusting in the Lord and let Him direct your path hence forward.
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BaddCatt   in reply to Annie38
Hello Annie38
Sounds like he was a child when you met and he still hasn't matured. Are you wanting him back in your life? Is he hiding because he's trying to avoid paying child support? It blows my mind that these deadbeat dads don't realize that the monetary support is secondary to the spiritual, physical and social support that the children need from their dads.
Apparently the grandmother is covering for him. This is what I would like for you to do, Annie - If you have the grandmother's address, I want you to mail to her a copy of the movie 'Courageous'. She needs to watch it and then pass it on to him. Even if he is in jail, they'll let him watch it. It would be good for all the inmates to watch.

Please keep us updated. We'll be praying for you.
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Annie38   in reply to needhelpmovingon
Hi, I have a dad who abandoned my mom do to their crazy lifestyle. I saw him once a yr and i was scared of him. As like you I was blamed for their break up and he does not want to talk to me. It hurts and I also have a sibling he spends time with more than he did with me but what does not kill you makes you stronger. Learn from this that what you was not given you give to your babies. Show your kids that of what you lacked of, we are strong and no matter who abandons us, God is always there to keep us strong. I had it bad on both parents, mom didnt want a girl and I was dad's first but he thought I was from an affair mom had. I got tossed and beaten, ridiculed and rejected but the worst was since he didnt see me as his, he had sexual thoughts and didnt hide it. After ten yrs grown with kids I looked for him and trust me I regret it, he showed his genitals to my 5 child (girl) and I had to break all ties. After yrs I went to see him but nothing is ever the same. Last yr I went and he hid behind the door and when I called him he responded "Im dead". I let him know I am who I am thanks to God and myself and that I give my kids what niether of them gave me. Keep your head up high and I also have a brother from mom side that was her favorite, never felt jealous and watched over him with my life. God bless and keep on living for those bbyz
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Annie38
My daughter's dad lied about his age & then dissapeared for 13 yrs. I searched and finally found his family & contacted them. The grandmother called & now she is ignoring my calls & txt. He called me & spoke for 10 mins said he was very young and I said we both were but He said I was way younger than I had told you. I looked up his name because he said he was in jail & the picture that shows up is another man. If he lied about his age I think he lied about his name as well or this man is his brother but this is the only man that shows up with this name & has used his mother's last name & his stepdad's full name. Why do people do such terrible things??????
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